Zits…that’s right! I’ve been plagued by them.  And what is this with all the crying!  Don’t tell me that after a productive professional meeting I am going to turn into a raging maniac who can’t remember her next words and then starts to cry at the drop of the hat!  NO!  I’ve been there and done that and it was called my teenage years.  Those were the days…NOT!  Mostly they were a hormonal nightmare and guess what?  When you turn 50 they start all over again.

I had to explain to my son the other day, “no, this is not mommy going crazy…this is just mommy turning into a teenager again…”  I really hadn’t figured out what was going on until that meeting where I lost all credibility as an adult.  I had been having some freakish crying spells and irritability…I wasn’t having a period and figured ok, the CHANGE is happening.  But I wasn’t expecting Dr. Jekyll/Ms. Hyde.  After the “losing- it” meeting I rushed home and called my physician’s office.  After the usual telephone round robins that go on with phones and answering machines they told me I needed to have bloodwork done.

Bloodwork?  Okay…well it turns out that there’s something that can be done to help women like me who are 50 going on 13 and that is hormone pills.  Now I know that there are increased risks.  I will be careful.  But I have to do this.  Why?

First, because I’ve had to do a lot of penance for this sin of “losing it.”  You know that good southern women, and also good Quakers (the recipients of my lunacy) neverlose it.  I’ve had to apologize in three different phone calls and then had an email confirmation that, yes, this was aberrant behavior and that, no,  I would not do it anymore and that,  yes, I have gone to a physician to get help and that yes, it does happen to be a normal occurence for some women at my age.  (I will resist the desire to wish it upon those women). 

Second, because my son’s answer to the teenager that he had crying before him was to “squeeze that crazy teenager out of me.”  And though it felt really, really good, the results weren’t as long lasting as the hormones have been.