When do you discuss war and sexual preferences with children?

Our child goes to a Quaker school.  There is a emphasis on peaceful reconciliation and peaceful conflict resolution which is refreshing.  There is also a strong emphasis in truth and acceptance of everyone.  This can be a challenge when trying to explain the rest of the world and all that is happening in it.  We had never talked to him about the wars in Iraq or in Afghanistan.  We don’t have a television which leaves us without a 24 hour news source.  I listen to National Public Radio, see what television broadcasts I do see if I work out at a gym that we attend and am alerted to what is happening in the world by an actively engaged family who will email me on a need to know basis.  My son learned about both of these wars at school.  They are involved in a project called Rock our World where they communicate over the Internet with children in other Quaker schools in other parts of the world.   The big kids in Canada let the 1st and 2nd graders in the US know about what was happening in Afghanistan this week.  So he came home and I had to explain about this war and what had happened on 9-11.  Somehow I had hoped to discuss this with him when he was older and had a little more maturity.  As a child with anxiety problems, it was not easy to portray this situation in a nonthreatening manner. 

Another thing that the 1st and 2nd graders learned about this week was family.  They watched a show on all sorts of families.  When my son said to me that he had learned all about families, you know gay and that stuff I nearly lost it.  I’m open minded and I know that there are all kinds of families at the school.  We just haven’t used the word gay or lesbian or made an issue of the difference.  And I’m puzzled really.  Because I don’t understand why these words or labels were necessary.  Couldn’t there just be acknowledgement of families with two moms or two dads and that’s it without the labels.  It seems as though isolating these families after different with a label instead of just describing them as families didn’t do much to enhance his understanding.  

I’m just wondering about the whens and wheres of telling children about serious issues like these…any thoughts?